Amusing Aviation Quotes |
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767nutter
Chief Pilot Joined: 09 Jul 2008 Location: Norfolk, UK Points: 1330 |
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Posted: 10 Oct 2008 at 3:17pm |
Surfing the web i came across some amusing aviation qoutes, enjoy! ATC: Pan Am 1, descend to 3,000 ft on QNH 1019.
Pan ATC: Pan Am 1, descend to 36,000 inches on QNH 1019 *** Cessna 152: "Flight Level Three Thousand, Seven Hundred" Controller: "Roger, contact Houston Space Center" *** 727 pilot: "Do you know it costs us two thousand dollars to make a 360 in this airplane?" Controller: "Roger, give me four thousand dollars worth." *** Student Pilot: "I'm lost; I'm over a big lake and heading toward the big E." Controller: "Make several 90 degree turns so I can identify you on radar." (short pause)... Controller: "Okay then. That big lake is the Atlantic Ocean. Suggest you turn to the big W immediately ." *** Controller: "FAR1234 confirm your type of aircraft. Are you an Airbus 330 or 340?" Pilot: "A340 of course!" Controller: "Then would you mind switching on the two other engines and give me a 1000 feet per minute, please?" *** Tower: "Delta Zulu Romeo, turn right now and report your heading." Pilot: "Wilco. 341, 342, 343, 344, 345..." |
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767nutter
Chief Pilot Joined: 09 Jul 2008 Location: Norfolk, UK Points: 1330 |
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1. On a Southwest flight (SW has no assigned seating, you just sit where you're able) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, "People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!" |
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767nutter
Chief Pilot Joined: 09 Jul 2008 Location: Norfolk, UK Points: 1330 |
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9. "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks wil descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite."
10. "Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody love you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines." 11. "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments." 12. "As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly amoung the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses." 13. And from the piolt during his welcome message: "Delta Airlines is pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!" 14. Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City the flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt |
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mike H
P1 Joined: 02 Apr 2008 Location: Fltpath Manston Points: 672 |
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Nice One Matey. A Good Laugh. Thanks for making my Day.
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In my eyes to Fly is more than Just Loving it.
It is a Passion we can all now Share within Flight Sim. When in Doubt, Always go Around. Regards mike H |
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Dambuster
Chief Pilot Joined: 02 Apr 2008 Points: 3428 |
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Always like their humor... I was on an Allegiant Flight (DSM-LAS) where we also had a funny flight attendant, don't remember what he said though... Everyone laughed... something to do with wives etc...
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767nutter
Chief Pilot Joined: 09 Jul 2008 Location: Norfolk, UK Points: 1330 |
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glad it made your day, anyone else feel free to add any, i like to see there is still humour in aviation!
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767nutter
Chief Pilot Joined: 09 Jul 2008 Location: Norfolk, UK Points: 1330 |
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Just another little one:
BA 757 Shuttle service to Heathrow waiting for T/O Clearance while a KLM F27 Friendship is on short finals. F27 bounces hard 4 times
BA Pilot : ' oops that was a bit of a Fokker '
KLM : ' yes it was almost the end of a beautiful Friendship '
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TomA320
Chief Pilot Joined: 02 Apr 2008 Location: Perth Scotland Points: 10235 |
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Good ones Where did you get them from
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theryanbradley
P1 Joined: 02 Apr 2008 Location: EGNM Points: 950 |
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Many Thanks,
Ryan There's a big difference between a pilot and an aviator. One is a technician, the other is an artist in love with flight. |
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767nutter
Chief Pilot Joined: 09 Jul 2008 Location: Norfolk, UK Points: 1330 |
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When scanning through other aviation websites, and some from my books and magazines which i've been meaning to post for a while
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